Bucket of Lard

Despite occupying the weapon slot, the Bucket of Lard is a self-use item: it grants +2 Constitution and -1 Speed, then heals 4 HP. The trade-off is straightforward — you get tankier and heal, but you slow down. Best used on cats that don't need Speed or where Constitution scaling outweighs the mobility loss. Part of the Fatty set alongside Blubber, Fatty Hat, Fatty Mask, Fatty Necklace, and Gobbler.

The +2 CON increase scales HP upward, which makes the simultaneous 4 HP heal slightly more impactful on characters with higher HP pools (since they can go over existing HP caps with the new larger maximum). The -1 Speed is permanent for the battle, which can matter in fights with tight turn-order mechanics. Multiple uses stack both the CON gain and Speed loss.

Best in Fatty set builds where Constitution scaling is a core strategy, and on slow tanks that don't use Speed for turn order advantages. The self-heal makes it a dual-purpose defensive item. Avoid on Speed-dependent cats where losing even 1 SPD materially changes turn-order or reach.